Cupid's Arrows
by Writerchic88
Summary: In this alternate version of the episode A Comedy of Eros, but more happens between Gabrielle and Joxer, and one the spell is taken away Gabrielle finds herself stuck in a bad situation. Three shot.
1. The Begining of True Love

Cupid's Arrows

BY BOOKWORM88

This is an alternate version of the episode _**A Comedy of Eros**_.

Okay so this is my first fanfic (Yay for me!) o if your reviewing this done be too harsh. Anything you recognized isn;t mine evrything else is... Sooo enjoy!

It all started when Cupid was trying to put his son Bliss to bed. Instead of falling asleep the mischievous child steals Cupid's arrows instead. With a pop, he vanishes.

Just so you know Cupid's arrows, when fired, will hit a person and the next thing said struck person sees will be the thing struck person falls in love with.

He reappears just to witness the scene of the Hestian Virgins perform their ceremony to the ringing bells. Closely watched by two figures, one in armor the other carrying a staff, Xena and Gabrielle. With a giggle he flies over just in time to see a young man about to give flowers to a girl encouraged by his buddy.

Twang! Fpt! Goes the arrow as it is released and meets its mark in the young man with flowers. Angrily he turns to see not the young lady but his friend as a goofy grin appears on his face he hands the flowers to him! The friend gapes and looks confused but Bliss doesn't stay for long.

Soon he is off again right above the scene of two men fighting over a cow. Immediately one of them is struck with the feeling of complete love for the animal and grabs it and runs away.

Bliss giggles and goes onto another victim. Xena is shot with an arrow just as Draco rides up. Feeling reckless with lust Xena runs up and ferociously… kisses him!

Later, Bliss is just roaming around and happens upon the scene of Joxer and Gabrielle tied back to back to a pole. Just as Xena begins to untie them, a twang is heard and the arrow that made it sinks into Gabrielle. She turns to the left, and then turns to the right just to see… Joxer!

GABRIELLE'S POV

We soon abandoned our post to go to the meadow where they set up blankets and pillows.

"Please Joxer please can we do it, I really want to learn how." I pleaded.

"Well okay, move over here and I'll start….

He's Joxer the mighty,

He roams through the countryside,

He never needs a place to hide,

With Gabi as his sidekick,

Fighting with her little stick.

He's Joxer, Joxer the mighty.

"Oh, please, do it again. I'll never get good if I don't practice." I pleaded with him. We sang through it again. Afterward we sighed and he turned to look up at the sky. Feeling risky I began to blow in his ear. He turned startled to me but then went back to what he'd been doing. Looks like it's going to be hard to get him, but I can do it.

I decided to write in my scrolls, just for something for both of us to do, but what should I write about?

"Hey, Joxer, remember the time you changed personalities every time the bell rang. That was a great story. You know," I said beginning to kiss his neck. "I think I'm going to need to know all the intimate details, because, you know, bards only right about what they now." As he answered and kept kissing up his neck and bit his ear. Then I spontaneously kissed him straight on the mouth. He chocked and I ran to get him some water.

JOXER'S POV

I decided to follow Gabrielle and see what the cause of her sudden, strange behavior was. As I grew nearer I could hear her talking to Xena.

"That was before." Gabrielle said.

"Before what?" said Xena.

"Before I realized, I love him!"

I gulped, she loved me! I knew it was spontaneous but this whole relationship had been and I had a plan, I ran into town to find what I needed.

GABRIELLE'S POV

"You can't keep me from what I want." Declared Draco, "And I want her!" He said staring at me.

Oh, no what was I to do. As we fought suddenly my beloved Joxer was there! He tapped Draco on the shoulder and punched him in the face. Xena suddenly flew in and kicked Draco away.

"Ow!" Joxer whined in the most adorable way, "He hurt my hand."

"Pookie!" I said sympathetically and dragged him to get help.

JOXER'S POV

Oh, no as I turned I saw that Gabrielle's scroll had fallen. I had to get it. I ran out and grabbed it, only to be grabbed myself anf thrown onto Draco's horse. I watched as Gabrielle ran out and after me, and was grabbed by Draco as well.

GABRIELLE'S POV

After disregarding all of Draco's advances I finally had to play the boyfriend card.

"I can't love you because; well because I love someone else." I said.

"Who?" Draco asked being persistent.

"Forget it I tell you and Joxer's as good as dead. " I said. Oh no! Joxer! Draco ran off with an angry snarl. What could I do?

JOXER'S POV

Xena popped into the tent I was held in and cut the ropes but the only thing on my mind was finding Gabrielle.

"Wait! I need you too… never mind I'll do it myself."

I sprang from my bonds and raced to find her and just missed Draco who I watched walk into the tent; luckily I'd gone out the back.

"Gabrielle" I called and saw her head stick out from one of the tents.

"Joxer!" she cried. I grabbed her hand and pulled her back into town.

GABRIELLE'S POV

"Where are we going?" I asked for the 11th time. But Joxer just kept going. Soon we were at a temple… not Hestia's but another. Joxer blindfolded me and pushed me inside. One he'd led me somewhere I could suddenly see, we were in a room full of roses and Joxer…. Joxer was on one knee.

"Now Gabrielle, I know this is going to be very sudden but our whole relationship has, and I don't want to lose you, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" He asked I screamed and he looked upset and startled but then…

"Yes! Yes! Yes! Joxer, of course I will." I screamed my yes' punctuated by kisses. Joxer looked overjoyed and pulled me out of the room into a large room with an aisle… and aisle! Joxer wanted to get married, Right NOW! He ran over to where the priest was and music began to play as I-well what else could I do- walked down the aisle.

JOXER'S POV

Well I did it! I married Gabrielle! As soon as the ceremony was finished though Xena burst in looking confusedly around the room and dragged Gabrielle off with her.

GABRIELLE'S POV

Xena pushed me into a room with the virgins and was then pushed out in front of Draco and another man. They were referring to me as an Amazon princess. And… trying to sell me!

AFTER A LOT OF FIGHTING AND RUNNING

XENA'S POV

I'd figured it out it was Cupid! When I'd grabbed Gabrielle I'd sent Joxer to find him. And here he was. I watched as Gabrielle was taken out from her spell.

GABRIELLE'S POV

I blinked and saw with un-lust clouded eyes that Joxer was-ew- holding my hands! Ugh then… then I remembered I was MARRIED to him! Uh oh what was I going to do!

OK, if you wanna see more, review

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BTW I will try and update pretty regularly... even if no one is reading... :-D


	2. AN

A/N

No, this is not a real chapter; sorry it's just that I accidentally called myself Bookworm88. My real Pen Name is Writerchic88. Okay yeah sorry :-D

Until next time,

WRITERCHIC88


	3. Plans

**Thank you to my reviewer Stardawn19! If you like this fic then you should check out some of hers, presuming you're not her. (Also to Stardawn19 thanks for the review and please try and check out some of my other fic's if you liked this one.) Anyway sorry to those who didn't like the whole skipping around thing sorry, I'll try to change that up, the first chapter was just me trying to go along with the first episode to get the gist of it and now it'll basically just be in Gabrielle's POV. Also, I've seen all the Xena's so I do actually go into episodes after this one… but it's fiction :-D. R&R and enjoy…**

**Cupid's Arrows**

**Plan A, Plan B, Plan C**

Married… to Joxer! Oh my God, we didn't, no no we couldn't have, I'd have remembered that, traumatic expiriences aren't easily forgotten. But how could I get out of this? We were married, you know like 'til death do you part'. Plan A is to get Joxer to not like me anymore, then we can just go our separate ways no hard feelings and less awkward than any other way.

So here goes Plan A! I have put on a sack as a dress, used moss to look like fungus on my nails, eaten snails to make my teeth disgusting, and messed and mucked up my hair badly the end result is somewhat horrifying.

"Hello Joxer." I said giving him a large grin. "How's my Hunnie Bunnie?"

"Um… wow, Gabrielle. Did someone forget to wash their teeth today? And hair? And body? And put on ormal clothes?" Joxer asked me.

"What?" I asked feigning surprise. "I don't look bad do I?"

"Bad? Do you forget that I've seen you with fungus all over your body? " Joxer laughed .

Horse Dung! It didn't work, onto Plan B!

Plan B was to try and show him I didn't like him.

Joxer had left to go help Xena set up camp, while I hatched my plan.

"JOXER!" I screetched at the top of my lungs. He came running looking paniced

"Is something wrong?" He questioned glancing around fervently for any attackers.

"Something is very wrong, don't you see." I glared at him as if to clue him in. "Hello? I don't have anything comfortable to lay on." He stred at me in confusion for a moment before running off to fetch me a blanket.

"JOXER!" I screamed as soon as he'd brought me the blanket.

"Yes, Gabi?" He groaned turning around.

"It's too hot stand in front of the sun so I'll have some shade." I said in my snobbiest voice possible.

"Really Gabi?" He said. "Is it someone's time of the month again. Too bad but I understand. But I was thinking you might want some company on that very nice looking blanket." Oh No! he wasn't, I wouldn't. Ugh! Another plan foiled. Plan C would have to work.

"Yes Joxer I would love some company." Joxer gaped looking trilled and suddenly he threw off his shirt. I gulped. Then he charged at me full speed and knocked me down, so that I was laying under him, Plan C wasn't going so well. It was supposed to show Joxer I was too rough for him so he wouldn't want sex but well… I grabbed his throat slightly enjoying the choking sound he made and then I… ugh… kissed him my mouth moved furiously againt him eating his lips like an animal. Than I forced his lips open and shoved my tongue down his throat and roughly slid down his throat. I moaned I false pleasure trying to get him to stop and hate me for this but he interpreted it wrong he saw it as a heat of passion will him to get onto it. Before I knew it my shirt was off and I didn't know where it was going to go from there.


	4. Surprise

**Hi it's me again! I was suggested to add that I am in eighth grade. I know I only just was allowed to watch the show (gotta love Netflix). Anyway Thanks to my one reviewer! You know who you are, probably because you're the only one reading this, but anyway here we go. **

My shirt off. His shirt off. Our bodies pressed up against each other. I was in big trouble.

"Gabrielle, I need your help with… oh" Xena gasped wide eyed, staring at me and Joxer.

"Xena!" I yelled.

"Gabi!" Joxer yelled trying to cover me up.

"Save it Joxer!" barked Xena, "There's no way I'm letting this happen."

"Well, there's nuttin' you can do. We're married!" Joxer exclaimed.

"No, no, no, no!" Xena murmured wide eyed and staring at me. "Were you drunk or something?"

"no.. I… don't want…. Ugh…. No we are actually married." I tried to signal to her to butt in and get me out of her, but she just looked at me weird and left.

"So where were we?" Joxer asked from below, I felt his fingers at my waistline pulling downward. All I could do was go with it… No I did not just think that!

I did it! With Joxer! Admittedly, thankfully, it wasn't my first time. I mean, I have been married before and all but this was _very _different. It was weird seeing as I was pretty much unemotional and not really focused. Now everything had returned to normal. Xena and I had been into town and settled a dispute between a shopkeeper and Aphrodite. Then when I came back I had to build the fire and set up camp and cook dinner. Just like any other day. Until three weeks later.

I moaned as the pain jabbed into my abdomen.

"What's wrong Gabrielle? Was it something you ate? I knew that innkeeper was a bad egg, he must've fed us bad meat or something…" She trailed off as another of my shrieks

"No, Xena, I'm late." I said.

"Late?" She looked at me confused.

"You know… _late._" I said putting a lt of emphasis on it. Finally she got it.

"Joxer… and…" She babbled.

"Yes. That's right. I'm pregnant."

"Joxer?" I yelled. Where could that idiot have gotten.

"Gabrielle, can't talk now Xena has been made temporarily insane by the furies I should save her, be her knight in shining armor." He grinned, I rolled my eyes.

"But, Joxer!" I yelled as he marched off. This was going to be harder than I thought.

**LATER THAT NEXT DAY**

"Joxer, how do you feel about babies?" I asked, while he hungrily gobbled up morsels of food. He turned to me and said.

"Mell shey schteem oo ee unulee und fiffiult ugkliy ee oont afe em." I looked at him confused, he swallowed saying. "Well they seem to be unruly and difficult luckily we don't have them." I stared at him tears welling in my eyes.

"Oh, well then there's something I need to tell you-" I whined.

"Gabrielle! Joxer! There's something I need to tell you. I've lived this day twice. All this has happened before." She said. Suddenly I dropped asleep.

**LATER THAT NEXT DAY**

"Joxer, how do you feel about babies?" I asked, while he hungrily gobbled up morsels of food. He turned to me and said.

"Mell shey schteem oo ee unulee und fiffiult ugkliy ee oont afe em." I looked at him confused, he swallowed saying. "Well they seem to be unruly and difficult luckily we don't have them." I stared at him tears welling in my eyes.

"Oh, well then there's something I need to tell you-" I whined.

"Gabrielle! Joxer! There's something I need to tell you. I've lived this day twice. All this has happened before." She said.

"Xena I need to talk to you, I keep trying to tell Joxer but I never seem to be able to." I whimpered to her. She stroked my hair and told me everything would be alright and I slowly drifted to sleep.

**LATER THAT NEXT DAY**

"Joxer, how do you feel about babies?" I asked, while he hungrily gobbled up morsels of food. He turned to me and said.

"Mell shey schteem oo ee unulee und fiffiult ugkliy ee oont afe em." I looked at him confused, he swallowed saying. "Well they seem to be unruly and difficult luckily we don't have them." I stared at him tears welling in my eyes.

"Gabrielle, just tell him!" Xena screamed to me suddenly she tripped and hit me in the head with a frying pan. I was out like a candle.

**LATER THAT NEXT DAY**

"Joxer, how do you feel about babies?" I asked, while he hungrily gobbled up morsels of food. He turned to me and said.

"Gabrielle, tell him NOW!" called Xena's voice from far off. Joxer looked at me questioningly.

"Joxer! I'm… I'm pregnant.

**Well, there is one heck of a cliffhanger right there. Want it to continue R&R**

**:-D – **

**Writerchic88**


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